The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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