in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
