This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
