Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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