WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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