Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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