First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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