so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Randomize
