p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
