my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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