what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
