I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
sex in a hospital.. check
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
