If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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