He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
