Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
