why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
