My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
