I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
