feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
What a dumb baby whore.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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