i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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