Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
