Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
