idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
