What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize