I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize
