she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
