and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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