Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
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