yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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