It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
