It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
