If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
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