Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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