"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
