i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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