So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Randomize
