i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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