i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
so let's talk penis.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I AM VODKA MAN
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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