super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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