Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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