Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
