Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
