I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
