I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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