What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
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