I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
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using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
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