I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
