I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
