just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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