Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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