Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
