whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
