What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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