I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
