last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
