She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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