Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
