you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
