He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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