i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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